Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) & Iron Man (2008)

['Cuz I'm lazy to double-post.]

Iron Man
I. Love. Iron Man. It wasn't so much of a comedic action movie, rather, a comedy with action. Not that I'm complaining. I haven't laughed so hard since I rewatched Army Of Darkness. Robert Downey Jr. is priceless as Tony Stark, and, quoting American Idol (because I'm lame that way), he made Stark his own. I'll change the last half of that previous sentence once I come up with something good, but honestly, I can't imagine anybody else being Stark. I always had the impression that Tony Stark is this rather stiff dude who looked a bit Chinese. But then again, I'm not very exposed to the Iron Man comics, only in some of the crossovers that he's in. *cough*Marvel Zombies*cough*

And I finally saw that after-credits scene! On this Chinese website. Leave it to the white people at Paramount who can't read Chinese. Teehee. Speaking of which, I can't read Chinese either. Ha! And I'm yellow.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Indy 4 was pretty fun, although it doesn't match Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (in my opinion, nothing will, actually). The aliens were what got to me. The whole franchise revolves around archaeology, and ancient things. Yes, I know they're playing on real-life speculation that the reason the Mayans were way advanced compared to the rest of the other ancient civilizations was not due to innovation and all that crap, but because of extraterrestrials, but really, aliens? And the fact that the UFO in the end was actually LOOKED like a UFO. You can't even call it 'an alien spacecraft'. This from the guy who gave us Star Wars. I mean, just because the movie referenced Roswell in the beginning doesn't mean that ALL alien spacecrafts have to be smoothly metallic and plate-shaped. Russian Cate Blanchett DID mention that they might be cousins. Give us some variety, will ya?

And I've heard that the crystal skulls looked like plastic. Seeing it first-hand now, I thought they were very un-like plastic. Is it me, or did the Crystal Skull look like a reject prop from the Alien movies? During the part the whole bunch of them were looking up at the cave wall, I was half-expecting a face-hugger to jump out and attah itself to John Hurt's face. Which would've been ironic, since John Hurt was the first to die in Alien.

The way Cate Blanchett died wasn't satisfying enough. Her eyes caught on fire and she just disintegrated. I mean, in Raiders of the Lost Ark, the Nazis' faces melted. Nightmares for weeks! And in Temple of Doom, there was that whole heart-ripping she-bang, and something with the stones, and the bad guy fell and was eaten by crocodiles. And in The Last Crusade, the rather middle-aged dude instantly aged and rotted away, and the whole place fell apart (not immediately after, though). And I miss the Nazis.

Oh, another quibble: Henry Jones, Sr. Yes, saying that he died is a great way to cover the fact that the great Sean Connery is not in the movie, but have they forgotten about The Last Crusade? Correct me if I'm wrong here, but didn't Henry Sr. drink from the Holy Grail, i.e. the Cup that gives everlasting life? Yes, the water from the Cup was poured onto his wounds, that's why he didn't die from the gunshot, but he also DRANK from the thing afterward. So tell me, why on earth is he dead in the current movie??

The good stuff now: It was quite funny actually, and the bit LaBeouf threw a rat snake to Harrison Ford so that they could pull him out of the dry sand pit (like quicksand, except no mud, or something) was hilarious. For the uninitiated, Indiana Jones hates snakes. And his father hates rats. Haha. And it was quite fun to watch John Hurt acting senile for most of the movie. But he was alright again after they replaced the skull up on its skeletal, um, yeah, skeleton.

I've actually read somewhere that George Lucas said that he could imagine Shia LaBeouf being the lead in subsequent Indy movies, relegating Harrison Ford to the father-figure role, much like Sean Connery in The Last Crusade. Nothing against LaBeouf, but if that actually happens, I'm boycotting the franchise.

[In unrelated news: Luke Ford might be taking over in the future Mummy movies. Oh no!]