I hereby proclaim my (unofficial) patronage to Debenhams.

Or at least, Red Herring.

[I do think my posts are more boring when I'm not bitching.]

We rarely ever go to Gurney Paragon, because we're afraid of narrow parking lots and walking isn't my thing. Since Jellybunny opened in Paragon yesterday, my mom and I thought we'd sojourn there today.

Before heading to the store, we stopped by the Godiva chocolate shop. Surprisingly, European premium chocolates really are cheaper than in Malaysia (I'm surprised because I hear European things are more cheap in Europe but so far I've not encountered such things yet), like, by a huge margin.

What's sold in France for EUR4.00 is sold here for MYR32.00.

ACTUAL SIZE.

Similarly, I don't recall their regular chocolate boxes (not truffles) selling for more than MYR200 over there. I'm not able to find the box we bought, though, which is a Special Edition one for Brussels (they have one for London, Paris, Singapore, etc., but I don't know there's one for Malaysia or no). Anyway, we paid EUR17-ish for that one.

So, kids, remember: when you're in Europe and you see a Godiva, you buy those chocolates even though the exchange hurts, because that exchange will hurt far less than not exchanging.

Chocolates aside, we went to Debenhams next. It's my second/third time visiting the place, so I figured I might as well try something on for once.

That 'something' was two dresses, and both fit my bodice like nobody's business. I'm rather big-boned, so dresses either bunch or tighten up at the back (don't get me started on the front), and I end up in a dress that's very obviously one size bigger than it should be (which is why I don't really buy fitted dresses).

These fit me like a glove, up top. And that's a phrase I rarely get to use, because it never happens.

I ended up buying only one, because the other had a slit mid-knee, which is weird when sitting. And it's expensive!! The one I bought retails for MYR245.00 here, whereas Debenhams online tells me that it's GBP35.00. That's like, a MYR100 difference!!

This is the one I didn't buy. You don't notice the slit so much in this picture because of the black stockings, which I don't wear.

So, now I know I can get nice super expensive dresses that fit me well at Debenhams. As unlikely as it is, I'm hoping that they open one in Gurney Plaza.

We finally made it to Jellybunny (it was extremely packed for a tiny shop) where I bought a pair of maroon flats for MYR59.00. Then after that we went back to the Plaza for lunch where I stuffed my face with fried rice and fried cuttlefish.

And... that's my day done. Toldja it'd be boring when I'm not complaining.

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Happy 50th Anniversary, Doctor Who!

I only got to know of Doctor Who because of the yearbook my parents bought at a mega-book sale, like, 15 years ago.

This was mine. Based on the Tardis Wikia, apparently, it was the last one published.

To have BBC is to pay extra, so we don't have BBC and thus, we don't have Doctor Who and Sherlock. I found out about the anniversary from Google, where you can play a mini-game involving five levels, switches and Daleks.

And angels that weep. If that were me, I'd chuck my umbrella at that thing and run through the Dalek horde (off-screen) screaming.

You can choose who to start with (I chose William Hartnell, the first Doctor). On my first try in the above level (above grab is my third attempt), I ended up with the guy after Tom Baker (I can't really remember the names of the guys between Baker and Sylvester McCoy, who I remembered because he looks like Pee-wee Herman on the Yearbook cover). Baker is the Doctor with the scarf (in the bottom left corner).

[And in recent years, he often said, "Britain... Britain... Britain...".]

Took me 11-plus minutes on my first try!

The best part is, it doesn't matter if you die after Matt Smith; you just become the first Doctor again. Yay for circular regeneration!

In continuing with today's stumble-upons (like with the Google), I also found below related video. It's a 19-minute Comic Relief episode starring Rowan Atkinson, Richard E. Grant (*swoon*), Jim Broadbent and Hugh Grant as Doctors, and President Jonathan Pryce as the Master.



Being unfamiliar with Doctor Who, the video impliedly explains that nothing ever gets explained on the show. Oh, well. Enjoy!

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Re-watched Thor 2 last Wednesday...

...and surprisingly, I still enjoyed it.

[Trying to catch up on blog back-log! Back-blog! Argh!]

It hit me that Chris Hemsworth is pretty "steady" (to use a colloquial term), considering that he can hold his own against notorious scene-stealer Tom Hiddleston. I mean, as susceptible as I am to Hiddleston's charm, I realised that I didn't mind seeing Hemsworth at all for the majority of the movie.

[The part where he hangs Miu Miu Mjolnir on a coat hook is just precious!]

And it also hit me why I didn't get sick of the film the second time around: because of the Thor-Loki dynamic, from a non-fan girl standpoint. It makes them so bloody interesting to watch: Thor torn between familial bonds and his adopted brother's constant treachery, and Loki, befitting the other side of the coin, alternating between one-upping his brother and (sometimes!) seeming to do right by him.

Given Loki/Hiddleston's popularity, for profitability reasons it's safe to presume that a Loki spin-off is probably not far off. And as much as I would love to see Loki make mischief in an entire movie, my only misgiving is that I don't think that the spin-off would work.

Not unless the plot calls for Thor to play an active (albeit backseat) role in the film.

Sure, the fans (including myself) would throng the cinemas in droves. And Hiddleston, of course, would be blameless in anything (and, possibly for eternity, everything) he does. But in exploring (and expanding) more of Loki, giving him his own stand-alone adventure may not be as fulfilling as seeing him verbally/physically spar with/alongside his brother.

Take Riddick, fr'instance. I don't get why he's popular, but apparently people liked him so much from Pitch Black that he got his own Chronicles. And after that, it seems that the universe in that series was in cryo-stasis for nine years because we only got the sequel to that this year.

And to be fair, the reverse is the same for Thor. They have this symbiotic relationship with each other in the sense one wouldn't be interesting without the other. Especially with photos like these:

Priceless.

So, here's to hoping that Marvel gives us a fantastic Movie 3, and if there is a spin-off for Loki, here's to hoping that they've found a good storyline for him and that the movie doesn't suck.

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"Are you up all night to get Loki?"

[A very, very short one today.]

My semi-obsession with Tom Hiddleston has been rekindled with Thor 2 (watching it again tomorrow, office Movie Night!), so I'm happy to share this hilarious video from Smosh (I'm sooo glad I'm still subscribed to them!). And yes, they actually got to sit down with the real guy and ask him questions, the lucky doods!



Bonus video below. Enjoy!



And the answer to my post title is, "well, yes. Yes, I am." :)

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Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson's A Memory of Light.

[This review has been with me for a long while now; I wanted to make sure I get all my thoughts down properly. I'm still quite struggling with my Star Trek II review, so double feature (in relation) is off the books for now.]

Reading this book gave me mixed feelings. Part of me is happy that the series has FINALLY come to an end; part of me is sad that the original author, Robert Jordan, didn't live to close it.

Most of all, there wouldn’t be any more WoT books to look forward to, after this.

I won't go into the storyline, because the scope of this entire book is immense. It’s what we expected for Tar’mon Gaidon, and the story doesn't let up, flitting from PoV to PoV like nobody's business, showing us what's going on on every front, with most of it steeped in battles and military maneuvers. It also shows how battles are fought and won in a war like this (all or nothing), and so many things and so much (technological?) progress happen that it almost feels like it's the Age of Legends.

The downside to it is that you don’t stay with each character for long, before you’re brought to another character in another location. This took some getting used to, considering the very one/two character-driven Books 12 (Rand/Egwene) and 13 (Mat/Perrin).

[And also, previous books that had devoted almost entire chapters to Elayne refusing goats’ milk only one character.]

One thing that stood out for me in A Memory of Light was how cinematic the scenes are. Where previous books would be great for iMax (all the detailing), the whole of AMoL seems to be made for a summer movie in general, due to pacing and also action. The beginning was slightly slow, but it was necessary to consolidate and position where everyone is supposed to be for the rest of the book.

The body count does hit an all-time high in this one, with many, many supporting characters and, shockingly, one main character (due to her stupid idiot of her husband!) biting the dust. Given how that doofus had been bungling things up (I don’t know who thought up this bloody stupid plot arc), it was almost a given that her death would soon follow after, but then again, we rarely get deaths told from the dying person’s PoV.

And considering how this character is at the forefront of the series, her written death wasn't all that special. Masema’s death from Book 12 stood out. It gave us an insight to an extremely minor character who, up until that point, used to glare at everyone until he became a fanatical zealot. That entire section was gripping, it made an impression, and it certainly lingered with me long after I've moved onto the rest of the story.

The book also posits a theory to good and evil. We all know how the WoT symbolises balance (male/female Aes Sedai symbol, etc.). The mental battle between Rand (our hero) and the Dark One (the Big Bad of the series) is a fascinating turn of events, where they each show a world without the other. It’s interesting to note that a world without the Dark One would be the same as a world with the Dark One; in the latter, all good had been removed from people, whereas in the former, all evil had been removed from people. Rand realises that good cannot exist without evil, and vice versa, which puts him in a bit of a bind since this is the last book and he needs to defeat the bad guy.

I was most excited to read the final chapter, especially when I found out that Jordan had written the last few scenes of the entire saga, and I was a bit stumped to find that Jordan had only (most likely) written the last bit of very, very last scene, which, though beautifully written and gave me goosebumps, just wasn’t enough.

*and here is where it gets spoilerrific!*

I’m completely okay with how the story turned out; it’s bittersweet, in a good way. I actually dig the idea of Rand riding into the sunset anonymously, him rearing up his horse like Zorro (struck out because I made that up; there are so many scenes in this book that would play out gloriously on film) as the wind rose up and blew the final sentences of the series into place.

It’s only the execution that I have issues with.

I feel that Rand owes it to Nynaeve, to Tam, Moiraine, Loial and all those close to him, to at least personally let them know he’s still alive but incognito. And unrealistically, how can Min and Co., be so outwardly nonchalant (so obvious that everyone notices it) about Rand's "death", and yet hope to hide the fact that Rand is still alive? If this is the actual ending that Jordan envisioned, it’s a crap way that disregards the feelings of all those who had stuck with Rand thick and thin through 14 flippin’ books.

I get Rand’s motivations for wanting some peace for a while. Yes, I can understand him taking a step back from ruling and letting the Power of Threewives run the world. But I can’t understand him just disappearing so without saying thank you and goodbye to all his friends. At least in The Lord of the Rings everyone said their farewells before sailing off in that massive ship.

[I don’t really follow LotR but I know those people were going away for a long, long time.]

I feel that Rand owes them that much.

Plus, switching bodies with Moridin: Nae’blis and all-around head Forsaken? Won’t people panic? Won’t people just go, “Hey, what happened to that guy that was lying next to Rand? Oh, no, he's still alive, he’s going to release the Dark One again!"

I don’t know whether Jordan is to blame for this final plot development, or whether it’s something Sanderson and Team Jordan (people in charge of editing and continuity) worked out because they were running out of time / pages and just wanted to get it over with. This whole resolution just doesn't gel well with me.

I'm not going to harp on my usual quibble with all books post-Jordan. I appreciate that Sanderson cuts to the chase (instead of describing every single bloody thing to the minutest detail until you lose track of what you’re supposed to be reading about in the first place), but I’m surprised that Team Jordan wasn’t able to eke out all those inconsistencies in Sanderson’s narrative style and language.

[Mind I said ‘narrative’ instead of ‘writing’. That’s how I knew that Jordan hadn’t written the final PoV. Too many contractions; Jordan very rarely (so rare it’s almost ‘never’) uses contractions in narratives; only in dialogue and in thoughts.]

Plus, there was even a ‘Yeah’ in the book (either from Egwene or Elayne), a word which does not exist in their lexicon. Considering the fact that I’ve skimmed through Books 8-10 (up till now, I'm of the impression that the only significant thing to happen is the Cleansing, in Book 9), I should not be noticing details like this.

There were also some loose ends (what bloody happened to Gaul? And did Juilin Sandar die?!) but all in all, it was a pretty satisfying ending to a saga that's been an integral part of my life, even though I came late to the series.

Jordan said he envisioned and wrote the ending at the very start of the series, and you can just tell that the final paragraphs of the book are definitely his. I'll end my post with his words:

========

The wind rose high and free, to soar in an open sky with no clouds. It passed over a broken landscape scattered with corpses not yet buried. A landscape covered, at the same time, with celebrations. It tickled the branches of trees that had finally begun to put forth buds.

The wind blew southward, through knotted forests, over shimmering plains and toward lands unexplored.

This wind, it was not the ending. There are no endings, and never will be endings, to the turning of the Wheel of Time.

But it was an ending.

========

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Star Trek Into Darkness (2013)

[Took two days off, and now I will post double tonight. Whee!]

I saw this movie again on the flight to Frankfurt, and as a bonus, I also saw Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan!

Wrath of Khan was actually the reason why I went to see STID. I didn't really buy into the reboot bandwagon, though I did appreciate the ingenuity of the timesplit.

As a recap, these young Starfleet officers are coexisting alongside the people from the original series, albeit in different realities, as affected by the events at the start of the first movie. This means that with the alternative continuity, the writers are allowed poetic license to use the source material, but add little twists and turns of their own (which I admit, made me enjoy this movie). The critics then can’t say that this is yet another attempt at outright blind copying, and the judgmental and fickle core audience can’t cry blasphemy because canon in fact is preserved.

Using science fiction against science fiction? Now that is brilliant.

*is spoiler warning necessary?* *plus, KHAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!*

STID, thankfully, is much faster-paced and action-packed than its predecessor. The movie makes plenty of nods to the original series, from the eventual fates of our heroes (Sulu on the Captain’s chair), to the infamous, “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few”, but sci-fi homages contribute only so much, and one thing I like about the new movies so far is that it's more 'ensemble' compared to the original and Next Generation movies; it kind of gives most (if not) of everyone their turn in the spotlight.

And this is where the movie shines, particularly when both Kirk and Spock are concerned, even though Kirk is still the stereotypical reckless-dick-who-endangers-everyone-with-recklessness (honestly, this shtick is currently so overused). Kirk gradually grows into responsibility, Spock gradually grows into emotionality (if that's actually a word), and I grew to like Benedict Cumberbatch (whom I've heard of, but not familiar with) by the end of this film.

Despite the very evident whitewashing (Khan looks even less Indian now than Ricardo Montalban ever did), Cumberbatch stole every scene he's in, even if he's just sitting back-ramrod straight in the background. His performance, coupled with the alternative continuity, also creates an ambiguity to the character: does he still want to take over the world at present time, or is he just majorly pissed that his crew is held ransom by RoboCopPeter Weller and doesn't mind killing other people while at it?

Cumberbatch aside, I thought the whole cast was fantastic, especially Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto, who play Kirk and Spock respectively. The storyline was pretty good, too, although I don't see how did Bones and/or others arm 72 torpedoes simultaneously, and time it exactly to blow up when it beams onto Khan's ship. I know Spock is all logic, but wasn't the timer set to 40 seconds? What if Khan suspects something's amiss and delays beaming the torps up?

Boom.

The movie also plays it safe with the story, comparing the big sacrifice that Spock makes in the end of Wrath of Khan. Being the sap that I am, I'm all for happy endings, but it's a bit ridiculous how they don't even execute Khan for all the death he has caused.

Oh, no. They just put him back into cryogenic sleep.

[And as such, it would be totally neat to see him go against the Borg, however implausible. Mind you, in Wrath of Khan, Khan is seeking revenge against Kirk, whereas in this one, they’ve only met for the first time. Does this mean that we can expect to see Khan again in a future instalment?]

But nevermind. As a surface Trekkie, I completely enjoyed Star Trek Into Darkness, and I certainly wouldn't mind watching it a second time again, given the extremely strong cast. And if you haven't seen or heard of Honest Trailers, check out what they did for STID:



Fun fact: I saw the Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters trailer (which, I shudder to say, looked good to me), and thought I spotted Jason Bateman in it. It was actually Nathan Fillion.

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Jack The Giant Slayer (2013)

[Very short one today. Read on to find out why; it'll take you less than five.]

*very duper over-due*

I enjoyed this movie more than Oz: The Great and Powerful, though that enjoyment isn't helping me with this post right now. It was a bit slow in the beginning, and a lot less Technicolor-y but it wasn't as 'blah'.

[Unimaginative writing, I know, to rely on spelling out sounds rather than using actual words.]

But it all got VERY FUN in the second-half when the Giants rode the beanstalks down to Earth and started attacking people.

Another entry in the fairy tale variation genre, Jack seems more targeted for the kiddies as it's not as violent as Hansel and Gretel. There's also a love story somewhere in there that I didn't really care for (the girl can't act), but I enjoyed everyone else's performances. I also especially enjoyed Ewan McGregor and (an unrecognisable) Stanley Tucci, who play noble knight and metaphorically moustache-twirling villain respectively.

I always get a kick out of seeing actors having a blast on-screen (and I mean, actual blast, not acting blast). You can always tell with these things).

Aside from that, the CG for the Giants were a bit cartoon-y at times, though Bill Nighy as King Giant delivers yet another vocal performance that sounds like he's having a ton of fun, and... that sums up my impressions of the film. Even immediately after I saw the movie I didn't have much to write about, and since it's now eight months later, I think I'm worst off than I was in the first place.

I'll check it out when it airs on TV next year and hopefully I can add more to it.

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Richard Clayderman!!

[I took crappy quality grainy photos of Richard Clayderman on my stupid phone and now I can't find them.]

Went to Richard Clayderman's Romantique concert at Straits Quay yesterday!!

Surprisingly, so many people showed up! I mean, I don't mean there wouldn't be any takers; I just didn't think there'd be that many in Penang.

It's been a very, very long time since I've been to a piano recital, and I was super-pumped because I grew up with Clayderman. When I was younger, we used to drive back and forth from KL and my parents would play him on relative repeat on the car radio for four-plus hours.

Given that I didn't spot anyone when I was in London disappointed, I was psyched to see someone famous, that I've known since I was a child, in the flesh.

And that someone was half an hour late.

Dinner was at Dome (one of the cheapest, and not cheap also, at that), and half of the patrons were going to the concert. In brief, we rushed to pay the bill (because they were extremely short-handed), rushed to the bathroom, rushed upstairs, and the concert didn't start until 9pm.

[I told my mom, "When in Rome, do as Romans do. When in Malaysia, be as late as Malaysians are.]

When he came in, though, all was forgiven and everyone clapped and cheered. Since this is not a pop/rock concert, the cheering and wooo-ing were kept to a minimum. There's also the obligatory audience bantering, which, to his credit, was quite hilarious.

[In his introductory speech, he said his English isn't very good, and spoke really, really fast French before ending it with "terima kasih". His best has to be the one announcing the intermission.]

The silly playbook didn't give a setlist, only four forewords (really) by the organiser's partners and biographies on the orchestra players. This is beside the fact that the usage of English in the playbook is sometimes wrong.

Anyway, here's a (rough) list of the pieces played that night. Brackets are the position/order of the pieces, could number more than 15.

1. Ballade pour Adeline (#2)
2. Love Story (sooo not Taylor Swift) (#3)
3. Beethoven's 5th Symphony - variation (#4)
4. there's an extended timpani-like percussion solo by his drummer somewhere at this point
5. Montagues and Capulets (#6)
6. You Raise Me Up (#7)
7. Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue variation - this one was good! (#8)
8. Spartacus - this happened in the second half, but I can't recall which piece it came after (#9)
9. Titanic Symphony (#10)
10. Medley - Evita, Chariots of Fire, among others (#11)
11. a mamba/rhumba-type number - my mom says it's very nightclub-y (#12)
12. I Dreamed a Dream - Les Miz medley (#13)
13. West Side Story medley (#14)
14. Tribute to Stevie Wonder - which led me to wonder whether Wonder had passed on (just checked: he's still around) and if not, why Stevie and not someone else (#15).

The good ones (#1 and #5) are the only ones I can't find on YouTube. A little help here, please? Though a great load would not go unappreciated :D

And he also bloody gave away SHEET MUSIC!!! The first time he went to the front of the stage waving it, I thought he was kidding but he handed it to this lady sitting some rows from the front. As the show went on, people rushed to the front, so much so that in the second half, children ran up onto the stage proper and snatched it right from his hands!

Also, this very smart girl (not me) used this time to get his autograph. She even got a hug, the lucky kid!

Since we started late, we finished at 10.45pm (i.e., late). During the (quite short) encores, it was almost like a rock concert. People were huddling towards the front of the convention room, holding up their phones, recording the entire thing, never mind that three-quarters of the audience were still seated at the back.

I'll include a photo of the playbook when I get the chance.

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Coulson LIVES!!

But then again, Internet, this is old news. To chocolate fudge with spoiler warnings.

[Day 9. On track.]

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. made its way to our shores yesterday night. After looking forward to it for almost two weeks (because that was when I saw the commercial), I completely forgot about the show until my mother said, "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. is up next."

[In response, I ran out of the room and left one slipper behind.]

With The Avengers, I learned to have faith in Joss Whedon (I'm unfamiliar with his stuff, even though it's famous), but I didn't have too high a hope in a series that looks like a rehash of Heroes or Mutant X.

And after seeing the pilot, I'm not far off, really. The only things that stood out for me were:

• Agent Coulson
• name-dropping and references from Marvel films like nobody's business. Continuity and Extremis for the win!
• the abundance of humour. I was pleasantly surprised by this, though I shouldn't be, given the LOL-fest that was The Avengers.
• less impending doom, which differentiates it from Heroes (not that I don't like impending doom), and
• AGENT COULSON.

Anyone who says they watch this show for reasons other than Clark Gregg are totally lying.

Aside from the very interesting nugget slipped in at the start of the episode (apparently, Coulson "must never know" he was not recuperating in Tahiti), the rest of the pilot didn't exactly make me a believer. The show format looks to be mutant-of-the-week, and the characters are formulaic: you have the straight guy (Ward), the revered legend (Melinda May), the outsider-cum-new recruit (Skye), and the comic relief techie pair (Fitz-Simmons, whom you can also see in NCIS: Los Angeles).

Because of Agent Phil Coulson (and the possibility of other 'special guest stars' in future episodes), I will stay tuned. So there. Here's to hoping the rest of the season piques my interest.

[Tomorrow's post: OMG I JUST SAW RICHARD CLAYDERMAN LIVE IN CONCERT!!11!!1ONE.]

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Oh, to be young...

...and to dress like you're forty. Well, thirty, more like; not even the forty year-olds dress like they're forty. But more on that in a bit.

["And on the seventh day...", this little Piggie roamed far from home and upon returning, was utterly pooped in a way that did not inspire wit. She then watched American Dad! before retiring. This is Day 8.]

I go to the mall a lot (actually, I go to the same mall a lot), and one thing I've noticed is that young girls tend to dress older than they really are. May they be 12, 10, or even six, they, or rather, their parents, dress them up like little streetwalkers tarts.

Some even put make-up on their children. As if dressing them in halters, minis, or hot pants isn't enough, they have to plug up all their pores up as well.

[And these kids eventually grow up to have perfect complexion. Sins of the parents, my ass.]

And it's not only children who are affected. Teenagers (though in this instance I can't blame their parents anymore) below 18 dress as if they're in their 20s or 30s.

I don't get it, this rush to look older than you actually are. I mean, it's not like you won't get there if you don't make an effort. I could sleep for twenty years and I'd still get there, and for far less effort, too.

The lure of adulthood is certainly present. You have the get-out-of-school card, finally high-tailing it out of your parents', the getting-paid schtick, and according to Pitbull and every other rapper, the badonkadonk part...

I know I felt the same way (not about donks, though), when I was smaller. I couldn't wait to finish high school, go to college, go to university... and that's about it. Seems back then my inclinations were more academic than anything else, but hey, a PhD's bar none, right?

But I really don't see the big deal (nor compliment) in achieving maturity, fiscal or otherwise, especially for one so young.

For one thing, being mature means being financially secure, buying your own house, your own car, etc. I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not born rich. If I buy a house or a car, I'll need to get a loan, and with a loan, there'll be interest, which leads to additional expenses on my part. Why bother with all of that when you can stay at your parents', use their car, and in turn get free room, board and transportation? The older you get, the more pressure you'll feel to move out and start a life full of responsibilities (read: doing everything) on your own.

Also, the older you get, the flabbier you become, and the more everything starts to droop. Yes, droop.

"There's cosmetic surgery!" you might say. Yeah. Even if you put in collagen or botox or butt fat in your lips and face, it still won't be as good as when your face isn't losing the war with gravity. And with work done, in the end your entire face is gonna be puffed up like a balloon, and it will stay puffed up, because without all that synthetic material / air, every malleable bit of skin on your face is making a beeline south of the border.

That's why we see many aunties with tightly-taut faces, full lips only achievable by some form of pumping, and beady cat-eyes.

In the few moments where I'm interested enough in the human condition to observe my surroundings, I find it ironic to see 14 year-old girls dress and look 10 years-older, and on the other side, 41 year-old women dress 20 years-younger.

Case in point: there's this lady I always see in Gurney Plaza, probably forty-ish, judging by the work done on her face. In comparison, she's like an over-done Meg Ryan. She's usually in six-inch heels, tight jeans, low-cut top, blacked hair. That may sound okay to you so far, because I haven't yet thrown in the swollen lips, generous cleavage (too much for a woman her age!) and muffin-top.

I also haven't thrown in her son yet, whom she's generally out and about with. If not for the fact that he was quite pointedly ignoring her (and seem rather disgruntled that he's hanging out with a parent rather than with people his own age), I would've thought that she was a cougar and he was her lover-boy.

But no. I know that they're family (and not... ya know... ew) because I've seen her husband. He doesn't look too old, but I have no complaints about the way he looks.

[I digress.]

Being older means having to settle down and start a family. I don't profess to have an active social life (it's not even passive, either), but I'm too busy enjoying life and work (yes, work!) and time itself to worry about and having to care for others. I've seen people get married, and having to juggle work and love life and marriage so that they won't be too old to give birth. Ugh. I've seen them wanting to be more work-inclined (deadlines, etc.), but only narrowly deliver because F A M I L Y.

But I'm veering off-track here; marriage and family will be discussed in another post.

The point is, these days, kids are maturing faster and adults are regressing faster. Myself, I've always dressed in a T-shirt and jeans, and I have China doll hair because there will be a time when my face and/or body won't be able to match what it is I want to wear. My point is that people should dress their age, and for those older (and hopefully wiser) than us, please wear something age-appropriate.

I don't want to have to see your stomach flabs and stretch-marked torso while I'm eating thankyou.

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Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance (2012)

[Short one today, since I was out cold in the afternoon and was out for dinner the whole night. Written from scratch, though, so I'm no less proud of myself. Also x-posted an edited and more review-like version for Thor 2.]

Saw this on TV the other day.

This movie opted for more gritty and serious look, which worked with the darker tone that I guess everyone was clamouring for when the first one came out. Unfortunately, instead of coming up with an original storyline, what we get is Drive Angry, which incidentally also stars Nicolas Cage. Let's review the similarities:

Ghost Rider | Inmate from Hell tries to save child | granddaughter from the Devil himself | Devil worshippers, with Blackout | William Fichtner hot on his trail. Both heroes are triumphant in the end, although in Drive Angry, Nic Cage had to go back to Hell.

Recycled material aside, Ghost Rider 2 seems to have retconned his abilities (in the last one he could activate his Penance Stare at will, whereas in this one he can't control it) and, well, erased the first movie from continuity. It's also less campy and colourful than the first outing, with the action more raw and frenetic, but with the lack of lighting (the Rider only comes out at night or when there's darkness), I wasn't exactly able to discern much of the action.

[The scene where the construction equipment turn fiery skeletal should be quite cool.]

Change in tone aside (which I'm perfectly fine with), Cage still finds a way to laugh maniacally at some point in the movie (I get it now that it's his schtick). Besides that, I have no complaints with everyone else.

It's a shame, though, that the story is very 'meh', as this movie explores Johnny's (the Ghost Rider's alter ego) struggles with being the Rider, how the Rider entity came to be, and in the end, Johnny comes to terms with himself as kind of an archangel for good and tames the Rider (in a pretty cool closing scene, his motorcycle now gives off electric blue flames instead of regular fire).

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Thor: The Dark World (2013)

[Do you know what day today is? It's Tho- okay you know what, this intro would work better if it were Thursday instead of Friday.]

It's not summer yet, but Thor 2 is already out, for those of you (and me) who think that one year between Marvel movies is too long. Since this post is actually on time (watched it today!), I kinda feel obliged to give a brief synopsis of the film and to capitalize SPOILER WARNING:

Set shortly post-Avengers (timeline from Thor is two years), Jane stumbles upon and accidentally absorbs the MacGuffinAether, an energy that can convert matter into dark matter. It is also something required by the Dark Elves, who want to devoid the entire universe of light (both literally and figuratively), and the process can only be completed during the Convergence of all nine Realms (which, of course, happens to be now). Thor, who has been on peace campaigns in other Realms, whisks Jane back to Asgard to find a way to rid her of the Aether.

After the Elves attack Asgard (resulting in a poignantly beautiful funeral sequence focused in sending off a character that was only in the first movie for roughly five minutes), Odin locks down Asgard, leading Thor to again whisk Jane away for a cure but this time with the help of Loki, who makes good on his, “there are secret ways into Asgard that even you, with your all-seeing eye, do not even know of, etc.,” line from the first movie.

[I can’t believe I actually remembered that line. EDIT: I only remembered a variation of said line. My bad.]

Even so, the Elves still manage to retrieve the Aether (after an interesting turn of events where Loki is thought to have betrayed Thor in a brutally cool scene), and Loki is stabbed after trying to save Thor. Thor and Jane are stranded, but as the Convergence approaches, the boundaries between the Realms blur conveniently and they make their way back to Earth to prevent the Elves from succeeding in their quest. Long story short (“too late!”), they do succeed with very cool wormhole teleportation and CGI, and Thor returns to Asgard to tell his father about Loki’s sacrifice and that he cannot ascend the throne (not because of Jane, but because he can better serve as protector and peacekeeper to the Nine Realms).

And it doesn't end there; what happens next is simply brilliant and I’m very, very much looking forward to the next installment. I don’t want to spoil it, but I can’t refrain myself from typing it out either. It’s in black font just right below, so if you really wanna know, highlight away:

[Earlier scenes hint at Loki’s undeath, and in the last scene of the film, after Thor leaves Odin’s presence, we find out that (Anthony) Hopkins is actually Hiddles shape-shifted, and he’s on the throne on Asgard.]

Like The Avengers, the Phase II-related end-credits scene comes midway. I’ve never even heard of Guardians Of The Galaxy until they announced the movie, so what I can only say is that Benicio del Toro (at least, I think it’s him) is in it. There’s a short scene at the very end of the credits, but it’s, like, 10 seconds long and it’s shwarma-like so it’s skippable. I’ve described the scene (to the best of my recollection) in black font, so if you’re curious...:

[Scene begins with Jane in her apartment (that she shares with Erik, Darcy, etc.), and a rumbling in the sky leads her to the window, where a flash of light is reflected on the window pane. Camera pans to the loft/roof, Jane runs to where the Bifrost light is, Thor appears, and they kiss. Next scene shows the creature from Jotunheim that fell through a Convergence portal to our world chasing ravens. LOL.]

Chris Hemsworth can do no wrong in my book (no, not even Snow White And The Huntsman), and he’s able to project the kind of maturity and wisdom that would be expected from Thor (after all, Thor has been in two Marvel films already). There’s less of that good-natured big baby adorableness, though, since much of it happens on his home turf. And as expected, Tom Hiddleston (as Loki) steals every scene he’s in. Adding to my burgeoning interest in the character (you can never go wrong with the God of Mischief), the film explores another facet to Loki by including scenes with his adoptive mother, Frigga (played by Rene Russo). Apparently, there were supposed to be scenes of Hiddleston and Russo in Thor (Frigga’s favourite is Loki, it seems!, but they weren’t included in the final cut, so I’m really glad we got to see this in Thor 2.

Previously, what we’ve seen between Thor and Loki is rage and disgruntlement (more on Loki’s side), but in this movie Loki seems to have resigned himself to taunting/teasing Thor when they’re together, and this leads to very funny exchanges between Hemsworth and Hiddleston. It is also these scenes (humourous or otherwise) where both Hemsworth and Hiddleston shine, as there's always that parry-and-thrust relationship between them. One sequence, which isn’t plot-related but is hilarious enough to detract from that fact, has Loki pranking Thor to look like the Lady Sif at one point (still with Hemworth’s voice) and shape-shifting himself into various characters (including an Avenger!).

This is why I’m such a fan of the Marvel Cinematic Universe: aside from continuity, you’d get a surprise-cameo from an Avenger in each film. DC, please take note.

Again, a few minutes of seeing Asgard and I think to myself that I should’ve seen this in 3D (although, post-conversion movies tend to be no different than regular-D). Thankfully, in Asgard and some of the Nine Realms (and not Earth/Midgard; at least the scenes on Earth without Thor weren’t too long) are where much of the action is, so it would be more worth the 3D ticket price than the first film. More space is good. Green Lantern, if you get a sequel, please take note.

Apart from the funeral send-off, props also go to the scene where Heimdall (played by Idris Elba) takes out a cloaked Dark-Elf ship, only to have the mother ship rise up behind him and launching a few more smaller ships towards Asgard.

Thor suggests that science was mistaken by the ancients for mythology; Thor 2 confirms it in the opening scene (which occurs immediately after The Avengers), where Odin rebukes Loki for thinking that they are Gods. But what I don’t get is Loki and Frigga’s abilities with shape-shifting and astral/holographic projections. If they are not Gods nor supernatural creatures, (they’re not even blood kin), how is it they have these abilities that are only unique to them and not other Asgardians? It’s no secret that Loki has these abilities, and you’d think that the technology would’ve been requisitioned by Odin or his warmasters already.

Anyway, overall, Thor: The Dark World is a fantastic next step in Phase II, and I'm quite surprised to see it released in November (not that I'm complaining). Can't wait to see what comes next for our Norse Gods-cum-aliens.

Special shout-out to the end credits; I love this kind of shade art-like style. And also another shout-out to mini black-hole generator bombs. The geek in me got goosebumps with that.

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R.I.P.D. (2013)

[So far, so good.]

I'd initially planned to do a 'spoiler beware' smart ass-type thing involving food, but since this review is super late (but not too dead ha!) on arrival, it would be quite redundant at this point.

Anyway, the minute I saw Kevin Bacon, I knew Ryan Reynolds would be betrayed by someone (in this case, his partner) and that betrayal would lead to his death.

What I didn't see coming, was that Kevin Bacon was already a Deadite in the first place.

[I can't recall the term used, if any.]

R.I.P.D. is a watchdog department for the undead, policing the human world to keep ghosts and ghouls in check. Upon dying, Reynolds joins Jeff Bridges as his partner, and to ensure that the living don't see dead policemen walking around, they're given avatars, the form that everyone else sees them in. For Reynolds, it's an old Chinese guy (James Hong ftw!); for Bridges, it's this totally hot leggy blonde chick.

It's not before long our intrepid officers discover that the undead are in the process of assembling this totem that would reverse the flow of spirit traffic into the afterlife (which literally would lead to hell on Earth, if reversal happened at the point all evil people are passing on).

And of course, who should be the ringleader of the gang but Bacon.

This movie is like Men In Black, except you substitute aliens with ghouls and reverse the roles: the rookie this time is the straight man and the one with all the mouth is the old-timer. Seems to me these days, Reynolds tends to play the straight man to whatever foil that's thrown at him in movies (Bridges, Lantern ring, Sandra Bullock), which I find strange because Reynolds was the witty, sarcastic, hilarious foil to Richard Ruccolo's straight man in Two Guys And A Girl and the poor, forgotten pizza place.

Looks like he matured himself into movies... geddit? Har dee har har.

The only things that saved this movie from utter blandness are Bridges laying the Southern on thick as a US Marshall from the actual old West (he's so over-doing it that it's not over-acting, it's stealing the show), Bacon being the bad guy as usual (and looking like he was having a ton of fun at it) and how the general public perceives our two leads (one brilliant scene was Bridges hefting up a chest of gold on his shoulder, other hand on hips, and it flashes over to the leggy blonde in that same pose!). Personally, I feel that there should've been more 'old Chinese guy', because seeing Hong running down the street waving a banana (a gun, in reality) is simply priceless.

Ah, James Hong. I don't think I'll ever, ever tire of watching him. [Balls of Fury!]

To be fair, though, I never thought of this movie as an MiB semi-clone until I read reviews in the papers saying such. And despite the general consensus that it sucked, I quite enjoyed it.

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