Looking back.

Using a term from the papers, annus horribilus means ‘horrible year’, which rather describes my 2014 to a ‘T’.

[As opposed to my first thought when seeing this term, annus horribilus has nothing to do with bad anuses ew.]

From miserably failing at my one-post-a-day quota, to flunking posting timely reviews to the movies I’ve watched (fortunately I passed movie-watching); from growing white hairs (and not due to age) to getting burned out at work (which shouldn’t happen because I actually love what I do); it's been one heck of a year for me.

And it seems that’s the general sentiment going around. I’ve heard colleagues saying (with conviction) that they hope 2015 will be a better year than this.

Well, I echo that sentiment.

Per a recent post of mine, I hope to “be so happy that when others look at me they become happy too”, to the extent that my happiness makes them explode and if I'm lucky, they stay that way. I hope that 2015 will be a year where things would be straightforward and I wouldn't have to use my noggin' to manuever/dissemble/do such silly things.

I hope 2015 will be smoother than the bumpy 2014.

Most importantly, I hope to be able to write like I used to. Words used to flow from me like wee, but for the past two years or so it's as if I have urinary tract infection.

[Meaning very little wee.]

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Double Feature: Warm Bodies (2013) and Monster University (2013)

Warm Bodies

[HBO!]

My interest in the genre is more towards the zombies themselves, from a biological point of view, how they function. I mean, they don't rationalise, they don't plan, they may not feed even that often, but inexplicably, they survive.

So this movie's told from a zombie's point of view, the premise being that the zombie falls in love with a living breathing girl, and against all (scientific) odds, finds his way back to the land of the living and regains his humanity.

The movie starts off very good, but kinda falls flat in the third act. Our hero's path to the land of the living is an interesting exploration in reversing the effects of zombification, but it setting off a chain of events that leads to the redemption of EVERY zombie, well, that's a bit much for me to stomach.

Adding Deadites (can't remember what they were called, but if you see the movie you'd know who they are) was unnecessary. The focus should be on the zombies alone without any other undead element or further derivation; this just detracts from the story. Plus, these violent creatures are supposed to be able to sense heartbeats and thus feed; how is it that the confrontation between them and the recently-hearted zombies

Nicholas Hoult's portrayal as the zombie of change was good, although I thought his end scenes were done COMPLETELY human (and didn't have that awkwardness that it should). Mind, I know that his progress is way ahead of the rest; I just feel that it shouldn't be human. It should be just slightly less so.

Monsters University

[Fox Movies Premium!]

I would've preferred a sequel than a prequel. I miss Boo.

Even though the focus is more on Mike this time, the storyline ended up predictable (Mike and Sully start off disliking each other). I think the fun I got from the film is seeing that blobby monster with the four / six eyes (can’t remember his name or the number of his eyes) and revisiting the characters we got to know from Monsters, Inc.

And they found a way to fit Steve Buscemi in this one, too!

[Although, his origin didn't gel well with his eventual ruthlessness and villainy and homicidalness. I mean, he wanted to kill that poor girl.]

Despite finding the film rather humdrum, anything Billy Crystal-related gives me a kick (his last outing--Parental Guidance--was just so-so) as he’s not around a lot at the moment.

[Super-short one. Too meh.]

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Bad Milo! (2013)

This movie was featured in the weekend programme some time ago, with a picture of the protagonist with his arm around Milo, and I thought, "looks cute".

See? Cute.

It's about a guy who has bowel problems exacerbated by stress, so when he’s really stressed out he has to go take a big dump. After receiving a call from office saying that all of his work files get deleted by an incompetent colleague, he passes out in the bathroom, and wakes up next morning to find that said colleague is dead, mauled to death. Seeking help from a witch doctortherapist, he finds out that a demon has grown in his stomach, and whenever stressed, the demon will be shat out and it will go kill the source of his stress.

Does this demon stay out, you ask? No, he goes back in the same way.

It's a comedy. And a rather unique horror-comedy, at that. The only instance I can recall a monster coming out of someone’s butt is in Dreamcatcher, which kind of sucked.

Ken Marino is perfect as our hapless hero who has daddy issues (there’s a neat development in the movie but I won’t spoil it) and gets bullied by his boss because of his toilet problem. There’s also this simply adorable sequence where he tries to bond with his stomach demon (naming him ‘Milo’), and even tries to feed him with canned food.

The supporting cast is made up of a surprising number of people that I know, considering this is a movie I’ve not heard of. Gillian Jacobs, Peter Stormare (he’s the witch doctor!), Patrick Warburton, Jimmy JamesStephen Root, that Indian dude from Franklin and Bash Kunal Nayyar. It didn’t hurt the movie to have them in it; quite the opposite.

[Especially Pete Stormare. Always a plus point.]

Bad Milo! is one of those movies that you watch and readily laugh at, despite the morbid topic (the thought of Milo going back in and up is enough to make my butt curl), because funnily, toilet humour never gets old.

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New Year's Eve!

[Added disclaimer: not at all related to New Year's Eve. Except for a fact this is the day this happened.]

Today I forgot my security tag, so I had to get people to tag me out/in of the office whenever I needed to go to the loo. I figured that I could use the disabled's (a.k.a., the guest toilet) instead, so I wouldn't need to borrow someone's security tag just to go pee.

The first time I had to go, I automatically went for the ladies' and got in as someone was coming out. Mid-go(ing), I realised that I didn't have my tag with me, and that there was no one else in the toilet.

Since most people are on leave, mild panic came on, but luckily I thought of standing by the main door (it had vents toward the base of it) to see whether there were people walking by.

Five minutes later (luckily!), the cleaning lady passed by and I knocked for her to let my red-faced self out.

Since this totally counts towards my posts, I've got three more left till midnight. Boo.

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Oh, come on.

As if this year-end doesn't have enough natural disasters.

Yesterday night while watching Vampirella (not a porno), I noticed a newsflash saying another plane has gone missing mid-flight.

AirAsia flight QZ8501 from Indonesia to Singapore went missing at 6am yesterday. They still haven't found the plane yet. And this isn't even the Indian Ocean we're looking at.

#PrayforQZ8051

I hope they're just stranded on an island somewhere, or they manage to convert the plane to be like a floatation device (and thus, are still living). If so, I hope they're found soon.

Update: The evening news has reported over 40 bodies and debris found in the ocean near Kalimantan. My prayers are with the victims and their families.

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This is my resolution for the coming new year.

I was reminded from a Buzzfeed article on Tom Hiddleston (originally tweeted here) that this existed, and I aspire to be this way when 2015 arrives.

[I got disconnected halfway through reading the article because my internet is on the fritz, but I'd like to think that loading all those .gifs and pictures of Hiddles broke my internet.]

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Argh, the ambiguity!!

Yesterday was the last episode of 9: Nine Times Time Travel.

[Earlier post on this here (or just scroll slightly down).]

Compared to the very heavy preceding episodes, where our hero is shown dying at the end of it, this episode is somewhat lighter. It starts from the point of the teenaged hero, going from how he falls into journalism, and him meeting his step-niecejunior colleague for the first time.

Okay, you know what, I'm gonna name names: Hero = Sun Woo; junior colleague/love interest/former step-niece = Min Young; Elder Brother = Jung Woo.

Now, in the previous episode, a dying present-Sun Woo had told Min Young (as a child) to stay away from a guy that looks like him, as he would be the one that will hurt her (by all this time-travelling nonsense). Min Young grows up, encounters Sun Woo at her workplace (because he's her senior), and in a very comic scene, tells him that she has to stay away from him because of "trauma" (she doesn't elaborate).

Despite her best(?) efforts, Min Young eventually couldn't be bothered and she sticks to Sun Woo like a leech, with Sun Woo thinking she's insane (and making his feelings on this known to her at all times) but finding her adorable and steadily attracted to her by the minute.

The episode briefly shows us the progression of their relationship through the years, right up to 2012, when all this kerfuffle first started.

He meets up with Jung Woo (now out of prison), who says that he's going to Nepal. Min Young herself is also going to Nepal (job-related), and Sun Woo pisses her off enough (he does a lot of attractive teasing) to finally tell him about her encounter with present-Sun Woo 20 years ago. Now-Sun Woo realises that it was him who met Min Young, and that he will eventually die when he's 20 years in the past.

But(!) he realises that he does love Min Young, and with the knowledge of that time travel is a possibility (and the fact that he would die if he went back to 1993) and his future self (initial-future self) telling him that "he would always make the right choice", he decides to go to Nepal to be with her (in the original timeline, he goes to Nepal to identify his dead brother and pick up his belongings).

So, the ambiguity of this is: is he still fated to die 20 years ago, mangled in a telephone booth, or, because of the time travel rippling effect in this show, will he avert this future and not die in the past.

AND WHAT'S WITH THAT LAST SCENE WHERE JUNG WOO IS AT THE MOUNTAIN DYING AND SUN WOO, LIKE, RESCUES HIM?!!

IS THIS CURRENT-SUN WOO OR FUTURE FUTURE SUN WOO!!

ARGGGHHH I SHOULD NOT HAVE READ THE INTERNET!!!

[APOLOGIES FOR CAPS-LOCK!!]

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I have six days to push out seven posts...

That is, if I want this year's post count to NOT be less than last year's.

This sounds easy enough, given the number of movie reviews I haven't posted yet are quite a bit.

Okay, back to the grindstone. This post doesn't count.

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Waddles.

Wook at him!!


Wook at his adowable fat face!!


Wook at him asking for promoshun!!


Wook at Doctor Waddles!


Waddles is from Gravity Falls, a show about twins who go stay with their Gruncle (grandgreat-uncle) Stan during the summer, and each episode has the kids encountering weird and X-Files-y stuff.

But enough on the show. Wook at his pie chart he ated it!!!

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9: Nine Times Time Travel (2013 series) [Super-long]

[It's quite the tongue twister if you say it real fast.]

This show is about a reporter who discovers magic joss-sticks that, when burnt, brings a person 20 years into the past for a duration of 30 minutes (that is, when the joss-stick burns out completely). I skipped the earlier episodes, but tuned in from the time he started investigating his father’s death. By then, his elder brother (dead at the start of the series) is now living (possibly by our hero’s meddling hand) and by his living, our hero’s junior colleague cum girlfriend wannabe is now the hero’s step-niece, because the brother had married the girl’s mother. Our hero then decides to appreciates the girl after she becomes family.

Aside from this semi-mess, he also has a brain tumour (not really caused by the time travel but worsens with each jump into the past), and in trying to prevent / investigate his father’s death, he has to deal with the antagonist of the show, who (though a devious bastard) didn’t murder his father but manipulated events so that he can ascend to the father’s position as director/chairman/head of a hospital.

[Complicated storylines and time travel seem to be the stuff of Korean shows, but they tend to be able to do them justice.]

The thing about this show is its interesting take on time travel: changes in the past affect the future organically instead of immediately (unlike other shows, where you come back to a completely different future), which means that people in the present suddenly gain new memories as the events resulting from the change occur in the past. So there’s plenty of split-screen scenes: 20 years ago versus present time; and a scene where our hero sees a message appear stroke-by-stroke on his guitar, as written by himself at that point in time 20 years ago.

One of the most thrilling sequences in the show (that makes use of the split-screen) is when our hero dies in the operation to relieve swelling on his tumour; at the same time 20 years back, his past self finds tumour medication dropped by his future self in a previous visit, and after consulting his doctor on what that medication is, the tumour was detected at an early stage (instead of 10-20 years later, when it’s too late). So, as recollected by his best friend in the present (who gains these 20-year-old memories in real time), one minute our hero’s body is heading to the morgue, the next thing: the corpse is of another person, and our hero is alive and well and delivering the news.

Also, that girlfriend/step-niece? Her now fiance discovers a love-note from her to our hero, confronts the niece, who at first doesn’t know what’s going on, but slowly regains her memories from the past timeline. Now she has memories of being a step-niece, AND majorly crushing on this guy. And at first, our hero vehemently denies this (because only he and his best friend knows about the time travelling) and even scolded her for thinking such a thing (read: incest), but as the girl spirals into madness, he finally acknowledges her original memories by showing up at “the place I kissed my senior for the first time” (something he wouldn't have known if he actually was her step-uncle), and with this exchange:

"You know the word I hate most in the world?"

"What?" says her.

" 'Uncle'."

THEN HE FRIGGIN' KISSES HER!!!

[The closet romantic approves this scene, which she cannot find with English subs on YouTube.]

Don’t worry, the show isn’t entirely about two people who want to be together but can’t anymore. It’s about our hero’s efforts in trying to right the future by remedying the past, but with each time-jump, he has to contend not just with the changes happening in real-time as a result, but with the unexpected repercussions that keeps on unexpectedly happening whenever he returns to the present.

And how completely left-of-field they are!

Currently, the series is nearing its end (either today or tomorrow, depending on Christmas specials if any), and since this show airs five days a week, the episodes this week are packing a wallop of a cliff-hanger at each end. Spoilers below:

On Monday: The frequent changes to the past lead the antagonist to have been in possession of the joss-sticks for 20 years (in his office drawer!) – and he uses a stick to travel back to order a hit on our hero in his past teenaged self. Hero finds joss-stick, stops it from burning (therefore pulling the antagonist back to the future), and uses the very last one to go back and finally make things right. Episode ends with hero getting a long scar on his arm, and growing weaker by the minute as his past self is threatened (and subsequently chased) by the hitman.

Tuesday: Hero has jumped to the past. He stops the hitman (this part is totally filler), provides his younger self with evidence on his (their?) father’s death, and tells him to reach his boss – who 20 years ago is a journalist investigating corruption in the police force. With the evidence, the changes to the future are immediate: the antagonist loses everything (literally – as he is trying to break into our hero’s car to get at the joss-stick, his golf clubs, lackeys, big car all vanish), the best friend’s memories get a 20-year update, and the step-niece gets transported from funeral parlour (step-dad committed suicide – burdened with the knowledge of being a weak douche and having caused everyone a lot of hardship by not dying in the first place) to church: it’s her wedding day with our hero!!

[SQUEE!!]

Wednesday: Timeline having righted, this episode explores where and how everyone is; those already aware still remain aware of what has occurred. The antagonist is now a lowly pharmacist owner, and tries to find the hero’s car so that he can get at the last joss-stick (which would still be burning); we get a flashback as to how the now-girlfriend got engaged with our hero (adorable, but still filler); hero counts down his final minutes before he returns to the present, but (and that is a HUGE ‘but’) hero doesn’t jump back to the future.

Like, in his car 20 years in the future, the wedding ring box first appears on the seat, and then, joss-stick and joss-stick holder disappears from the car.

And then (yes, there is still more!), 20 years back, past-antagonist stumbles onto present-hero (who is leaving a voicemail to his best friend 20 years on – ikr right?), and rams his car into him!

THE EPISODE ENDS WITH OUR HERO BLOODIED AND MORTALLY WOUNDED!!

AND TONIGHT IS THE (PEN?)ULTIMATE EPISODE!! ARGGHHHH!!

It will either end with:

a) him dying, which would make things predictable, since you can’t get away unscathed when you mess with time, OR

b) him dying, and then him undying (by some time-travel magicking) and everyone lives happily ever after except for the antagonist.

Tonight's episode has already started on 8TV! Korean shows have never gripped me so; I've been rushing in and out to complete this post as I don't have Wi-fi.

P.S. My recaps mightn’t be very accurate, because so much happens in one episode that it’s discover-a-minute exciting and I only got a chance to put this to post right now.

Thursday update!: Confirmed today was penultimate episode (meaning there's one more tomorrow) and they do show him dying! In the past! And the last person he sees is his girlfriend as a child and he gives her a final message and she remembers it all 20 years later!!

But then final episode preview shows everything as back to normal(?)! I'm confused and emotional about all this!!

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Merry Christmas!

Late, but not too late. Wishing everyone lovely tidings and joyful happiness this holiday season!

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The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

This isn't exactly the Christmas movie I was looking for, but today's viewing session was rather spur-of-the-moment.

You see, we had our pipes fixed Friday morning and our water valve had to be closed for four hours while the glue dried, so we decided to go see a really long movie to fill our time.

Perfect movie for this, folks, considering there's lunch to be had as well.

*spoilers spoilers spoilers spoilers ON TIME!*

TBotFA is the last movie in The Hobbit trilogy, which I hear is two movies too long. It picks up immediately after the events in Desolation of Smaug, with Smaug desolatinglaying waste to Laketown. What surprised me was Smaug’s defeat 15-20 minutes into the film; I thought they would drag this on for at least a bit more.

Thorin succumbs to ‘dragon sickness’ after evicting the dragon (meaning he becomes obsessed with gold and wants to hoard all of it – like Stephen Colbert, perhaps?) and holes himself and the rest of the dwarf company under the Lonely Mountain. The humans from the now-razed Laketown camp outside the Mountain in search of shelter, and to claim some of the gold within as part of recompense for aiding the dwarves and to also rebuild their town (I don’t recall much aiding, by the way, but since Bard said it and he looks to be of upright character, I will go along with it). Legolas and Tauriel have gone a-trackin’, and find out that the Orcs (from the first two films) are mobilizing and planning to attack the Mountain in a bid to reclaim the land behind it (which is Angmar. Cue goosebumps).

The Elves have also come to the Mountain, to claim the white gems that Thranduil has always wanted, and join forces with the humans in an effort to get Thorin and Co., to budge. Thorin’s reinforcements (led by his boar-riding cousin, Billy ConnollyDain) arrive, and are about to fight with the Elf-Human contingent when the Orcs finally arrive.

The last hour or so is true to its title, with everyone duking it out with the Orcs, even though I count only four armies (Dwarf, Elf, Human and Orc), unless you include Goblin mercenaries, which were only on-screen for like, five minutes. Probably the book is clearer on this.

Really, really cool scenes in the movie are:

• The way Bard takes down Smaug. Super-epic.
• Elrond and Saruman fighting the pre-Lord of the Rings Ringwraiths (I think), and the Ringwraiths (I think) are bamf-ing about. Also, the return of Sauron, from mere silhouetted Necromancer to the flaming eye we all know and are familiar with. One more ‘also’: Angmar. Freaking Angmar.
• The part when the dwarves lay down their pikes against the Orcs just when they are about to attack, and the Elves coming in at the last minute by jumping over the dwarves and combating the Orcs. I don’t know how else to describe this scene, but be assured it looks far cooler than my description.
• I would include the Ringworms but they didn’t get much screen-time. I mean, what is the point of mentioning Ringworms if they’re going to be in it for five seconds.
• Legolas stepping on /climbing falling stones like a staircase. Cool as this looks, I still prefer his turn in Return of the King. You know which scene I mean.
• “The Eagles are coming!” The Eagles are always last-minutely cool. Also, that guy who rode the Eagles and transformed into a giant bear and fought the Orcs. I thought he was random, but Wikipedia reminded me that he was in the second movie.
• Thorin Sheathing The Sword, when fighting Azog the Defiler. If I don’t get that Robert Jordan film series, this will most definitely do it, for me.

As with all Hollywood decisions, splitting a slim volume into three super-long movies (by using appendices) is motivated by financial reasons, however I have noticed the series’ effectiveness in getting us invested with its (main) characters. It works in getting you to care what happens to them, how they have grown, etc. And having not read the book (and not spoiled myself silly with Wikipedia beforehand), I was wowed and awed and suitably saddened by its turn of events (when I guessed wrongly who would die and who wouldn’t).

This movie ends full circle into the original trilogy, with old Bilbo getting a visit from Gandalf. It doesn’t exactly have that the same kind of finality that Return of the King had, even as the end-credits song drums its farewell into you. I did stay for the end-credits, because with so many people in this film, it’s a lovely gesture and a very, very nice feeling to finally get to know who played whom.

[Yes, there’s Wikipedia, but there’s really just so many people.]

[P.S. Link under Stephen Colbert's name leads to his hilarious interview with Smaug. It also has a clip from the movie, so you can skip to 4:48 for the rest of the interview.]

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300: Rise of an Empire (2014)

[Late, late, late.]

Ramping up the blood and gore and blood (censored version in theatres so no nudity), this movie is just an excuse to apply Zack Snyder’s stylised camera-work and techniques on battles at sea.

Initially publicised as a prequel, then a sequel, this movie is actually a during-quel, parallel to the events in 300. It starts with a very short backstory on Xerxes, and continues on to the before and then after of the Battle of Thermopylae.

The focus this time is on Themistocles, who faces Eva Green’s Artemisia, both on the battlefield and face-to-face (and you know where the latter would lead teehee), and eventually to the Persians’ defeat at the Bay of Salamis. This is spliced with scenes with the Spartans (no Gerry Butler this time), as they refuse Themistocles’ request to join them in battle at first, and, after the death of the 300, they provide reinforcements at Salamis.

[For the record, it’s been six months since I last saw this movie, and apart from Xerxes and Eva Green, I had to Wiki everything else up.]

I’m rather disappointed that there isn't much on Xerxes’ origins and how he became the God-King, although Wikipedia tells me that he wasn’t all that special in the first place, so I guess the movie had to at least have some historical basis. Eva Green steals every scene she’s in, and despite my being a horrible feminist, I looked forward to seeing her every time she comes on.

[Xerxes-related, I’m also rather disappointed that there wasn’t enough Rodrigo Santoro. Even my mum said he was pretty]

I kinda forgot why I’d enjoyed 300, and this movie reminded me (in part) of the ‘why’: war strategies. From the first film, you had the Spartans form a barricade with their shields and push Persians off glorious-looking cliffs; with this movie, it’s applied on naval engagements, seeing Themistocles and Artemisia trying to outsmart and outwit each other. The part where Themistocles rode his horse onto ships and fought people just blew my mind! I mean, it’s not strategy; it just looks seriously cool, and you’d never think to bring a horse to a naval engagement unless you’re transporting it or something.

Post is short. I transfer the adjective from Godzilla to this review.

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OMG, BC is Dr SS!

Translation: Oh my glob, Benedict Cumberbatch is Dr Stephen Strange!

After months of rumours, BC is finally confirmed to join the Marvel Cinematic Universe as the Sorcerer Supreme.

And he said he would be busy being Hamlet ;)

["Just when we thought he was out they pull him back in!"]

Welcome to Marvel, Ben!! Looking forward to the end of 2016!

Blogger's note: Posted this from cellphone! Edited to add this note and to reduce font for one of the lines. Whee!

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Dumb and Dumber To (2014)

In my quest for nostalgia, this movie doesn’t disappoint. Unfortunately, it isn’t as funny as the first one (though on the crude scale, it’s a match).

It had a good start, though.

After a catatonic Lloyd reveals he was faking it for 20 years (the exact number of time between this movie and its first, Dumb and Dumber), Harry is need of a kidney and they both set out to find Harry's illegitimate daughter to see whether she is a donor match. Hilarity, devious plots and pranks ensue.

The movie parallels the first one almost to a ‘T’, as if trying to see whether the same formula could work 20 years later. From the road trip to the large villainous sidekick getting inadvertently killed, down to Lloyd having a fantasy sequence (where he kicks ass and then imagines his love interest's tatas to be the front of a truck) and undercover police (not so obvious, eh), from the insidious plot underway to the Lauren HollyLaurie Holden, I can go on and on.

Don't get me wrong; it's not that I didn't appreciate all the references and tie-backs to the first movie, it's just that it's exactly the same movie. The difference is that I could name so many funny things from the first movie, and not that many from this one; laugh-out-loud moments were far and rather few.

My main quibble with the movie were some plot devices that, even when proven that they weren't in fact loopholes, still weren't satisfactory at all. Like, how can the conference people not know what the renowned Dr Pinchelow looked like? Couldn't Kathleen Turner write smaller on the postcard and go, "Dear Harry, I'm pregnant so I need the 40 bucks you owe me, love Fraida"? It's as if there was no other way to create comedy (or acts of stupidity, if you will) in the film and they had to rely on such sloppy writing.

And with all the throwbacks, I thought there could be a connection between Laurie Holden toand Mary SamsoniteSwanson, because the resemblance is uncanny. Alas, it was not to be. And (again) since we're on the topic of throwbacks, it's not the same without Harland Williams nor a Jeff Daniels' explosive diarrhea scene.

On top of that, I actually feel sorry for Lloyd (easily the mean-spirited of the duo, based on the first film), when he gave up his kidney for Harry, only for him to reveal it to be a prank.

So, Dumb and Dumber To: watch, or don't watch?

If you like/love the first film and also throwbacks, do watch. If not, well, then don't.

Malaysians, there is a scene in the movie that's (quite obviously) cut, but no worries. Just YouTube the trailer, and there it is.

[Despite the long list of similarities, I left out two of the best throwbacks in the film, one of which is in the post-credits scene. It's worth the wait if you're a fan.]

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