So.

I see I've not posted substantial up in at least five months. Needless to say, the writer's block is back.

Naw, that's not right.

Saying that the block is 'back' would mean that the block had gone away at some point. It did not.

I honestly don't get why I can't write like I used to. It's not like I'm perfectly content with my life that I have absolutely no complaints. I am disgruntled about something almost every other hour every day, I have a shitload of things to bitch about, and yet I can't even sum up mere words to express how I feel, no matter how strong.

Granted, I'm not the most eloquent person in the world, but when it comes to writing, I think I can afford a little less modesty and say that I'm good when it comes to putting pen on paper. There are a lot of things I can't do, but the one thing I can, that I'm most proud of, is write.

And now I don't even have that anymore. Ugh.

Anyway, I have three movie reviews lined up since July, one Melbourne trip for chronicling that happened in 2009. Go figure.

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Short people are steadier than others...

...for their centre of gravity is lower.

That is all for now. I know that I owe two main movie reviews and my Melbourne trip photos from '09; will get on those next Wednesday! :)

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R.I.P. Steve Jobs (1955 - 2011)

I first found out over the radio, and indirectly, at that, because none of the DJs had actually said outright that Steve Jobs had passed away. They were only asking people to call in for dedications, how Apple had changed their lives, bla bla eckcetera.

It wasn't only until I'd Googled 'Steve Jobs' that I found out that he had passed away sometime yesterday, succumbing to pancreatic cancer.

I didn't even know he had cancer, period. I vaguely remember a hubbub some years ago when he showed up at the Mac Expo (or something like that), looking gaunt, which spread rumors that he was sick. Even then there was no mention of cancer; just that he was a bit unhealthy.

[A bit like the time everyone said that Kevin Sorbo was sick, but was never really specific about 'with what'.]

I mean, he'd only stepped down as Apple CEO a coupla months ago, "health reasons".

I'm stunned. I'm still stunned. It's too soon.

My first computer was a Mac. My first laptop was an iBook. Heck, the only reason I've not bought a new Apple laptop is because they're using Intel processors, and IBM / MICROSOFT IS THE ENEMY!

Without Jobs (and technically, Steve Wozniak), people would not have asked me what 'Macs' were, growing up. And I would not have been lording it over Windows peons for YEARS that my computer was far better than theirs, and sure as heck far EASIER to use.

I would not have been unique. Back in the day, of course. Nowadays, people use Apple products like nobody's business.

R.I.P. Steven Paul Jobs. Without your innovation and insane marketing skills, we wouldn't have Pixar, we wouldn't have had cute round computers with everything in their insides, and there wouldn't have been someone for IBM to rip its technology off from.

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Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

We get treated to a pretty cool prologue scene of Cybertron in war, and a ship escaping from that planet, carrying technology that could decide the outcome of the war, but not before taking major damage. The Ark, as it is called, crashed onto our moon, and basically sparked the entire moonlanding race of the 60s.

[Oooo, history!]

Fastforward to the present, everyone who's anyone discovers the Ark, and inside, the previous Autobot leader Sentinel Prime, who is brought to Earth and revived by Optimus using the Matrix of Leadership from the last movie. The good guys also discover the Pillars, an invention by Sentinel that, when placed in strategic locations on Earth, would create a space bridge large enough for teleportation.

What exactly, those of you who have not seen Transformers 3 yet, may ask?

Cybertron itself.

When that little bit comes to light, all hell breaks loose, and that is when the fun proper totally begins.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is definitely darker than its predecessors, and despite 10 minutes of Ken Jeong, the storyline is definitely better and much more interesting than the earlier movies. It's more expansive, in that the Decepticons pretty much take over downtown Chicago the world (humans get obliterated this time!), and it also touches on an aspect of the human-robot relationship that hasn't been explored before: humans colluding with Decepticons, which apparently goes back waaay before the Autobots made an appearance.

I don't think I need to go into detail on the robots, they look awesome as usual, though I still can't really tell one Decepticon from the other (except for Megatron, since he's taken on that whole nomad look). That one scene in the second half of the movie where our human heroes are in the building (it looks ridiculous in the trailer, but it's explained), and Shockwave is just destroying the crap out of it, is absolutely fantastic. But my favorite scene would have to be the part when Bumblebee transforms into robot-mode to defeat some Decepticons (with Sam still inside him, car-mode), and grabs Sam before turning back into a car, with Sam inside, all in slow-mo. Even without Sam screaming like a little girl, it's still an amazingly-enjoyable sequence.

T:DotM is bigger, more violent, with so much damage and robot-on-robot action, and we get to see what Cybertron looks like. It has a tone of epic finality, since all the major Decepticon players get wiped out. It should be awesome, but it doesn't really reach the mark.

Why?

With the exception of the first one, final fights in the Transformers movies have always been disappointingly short, but this one takes the cake. And the reason behind it is even more ridiculous.

During the final fight between Sentinel and Optimus, Megatron backstabs Sentinel, because Sam's new girlfriend, Carly, manages to convince Megatron that he wouldn't be the leader anymore if Sentinel wins the fight.

Yes, new girl Rosie Huntington-Whitely is the deus ex bloody machina.

With Sentinel badly injured (because he didn't count on Megatron was that big a moron) and out of the way, Optimus takes out Megatron, and subsequently ends Sentinel for his betrayal. All in all, final fight took roughly 10 minutes.

[It's a very convenient and quick ending, and affirms this article that Megatron is a bloody idiot that also takes the advice of humans he doesn't know.]

Huntington-Whitely was generally not awful until the end, when she starts staring above-camera with a look of wonderment for 10 whole minutes, and only in the next scene do we realise that she was looking at Megatron and processing her idea at the same time.

I wish Megan Fox was in this. If Mikaela was still around and had thought of something like this, we would have appreciated it even more, because she knows Megatron, and what he's like and stuff. Instead, we have the new girl doing this, and it's like, "What the eff, man?!"

Mikaela would've shown more expression on her face.

T:DotM is a worthy third movie, but would've been so, so much better if Megan Fox was still around.

[Plus, I kinda miss Ramon Rodriguez :)]

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I have seen Captain America!

And the end-credits scene is the best and worse I've seen ever!

More on this, but not so soon.

#writer'sblock

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Right, general update:

I've gotten re-addicted to my old LucasArts computer games, and have been replaying the lot like mad.

This means that I haven't been able to work on my reviews for Transformers 3 and Harry Potter 7.2, and why my Green Lantern review took so long to get posted.

My damn writer's block is also back, which means hammering out a bloody review would take an even longer time than usual. Ugh.

Anyway, cliffsnotes, Transformers 3 is less enjoyable than the second, HP7.2 was fairly awesome, though they did away with some minute details from the book and forgot about Wormtail. Will try to bang one out in the next few days.

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Green Lantern (2011)

[I know what you're thinking: ASAP, my tush.]

I'd looked up Rotten Tomatoes before I went to see this movie, and I was shocked at the very low rating. Since I don't agree with the RT aggregator on some of movies that I like (e.g. The Skeleton Key, Dead Silence, etc.), I was still optimistic that I would enjoy Green Lantern as much as any other superhero movie.

Sadly, no.

The thing about the GL comics is that our hero Hal Jordan is part of the bigger picture, being that the Green Lantern Corps is an intergalactic police force that maintains order in the respective Sectors they're assigned to. The occasional threat-to-the-universe is what makes GL so interesting, because back-up involves all manner of living beings coming and working together to defeat the bad guy.

Plus, most of it happens in space / other planets / galaxies, so that's pretty cool too.

Being the first movie, it rightfully focuses on developing Hal and his relationship with everyone else; unfortunately, for source material with such a wide scope, I found the movie boring. It was a bit slow at the beginning, and though the airplane bit was quite cool to watch, the 15-20 minutes spent to show that Hal was irresponsible could've been used elsewhere.

Like on other characters. As in, those not of this Earth.

[I always thought Kilowog was looked more like a hippo...]

The storyline itself also didn't make much sense.

The main villain is Parallax, a fallen Guardian who tried to master the power of fear and failed, falling to its corrupt yellow light. And yet, the Guardians themselves agree too easily to Sinestro's suggestion that to defeat Parallax (who is heading for Oa to seek revenge), they need to forge a ring that draws on the yellow power of fear. I get that they need to ease a transition to Sinestro's eventual defection from the GL Corp (he sets up his own Corp, where members wear yellow rings and harness fear), but it's a bit disjointed the way they went about it. Not one instance in the movie ever showed that Sinestro had a darker side to him, and the scene where he puts on the yellow ring seems only as fanservice.

[Not that it didn't work.]

The Guardians in the comics, though fallible, are definitely not gullible, and the movie inevitably uses the usual people-in-high-places-make-stupid-mistakes-until-the-hero-talks-sense-into-them formula, which kinda blows. And also brings us to Hal's big speech to the Guardians, shortly before he goes to fight Parallax. What is the friggin' point of having Hal implore the Guardians to not fight fire with fire and help him save his planet, and then having the Guardians say 'no'? There, another 15 minutes down the drain.

Also, two many villains spoileth the movie. Pun intended.

Multiple villains generally don't work unless they are working together, with one leader, or the faceless goons / thugs / redshirts plus the one villain that really matters. Same goes for this movie. Hector Hammond was perfectly capable of being a major villain, seeing that he has a fair amount of screentime and knows the good guys. They're not close friends, but it was implied that they grew up together, and emotional connections between good and evil are always interesting. Instead we have Parallax, who is reduced to a massive intergalactic smoke monster with yellow tinges.

[The real Parallax is the embodiment of fear, and can never be destroyed, only contained.]

Ryan Reynolds can do absolutely no wrong in the Charm and Hero department (or in general), though I felt that he was a bit restrained in this one. Cast was splendid, and Peter Sarsgaard is effectively creepy and tortured as Hammond. The special effects were amazing, and once again I kick myself for not watching yet another movie set on a different plane in 3D. We got to see Oa, the Guardians (basically what I was hoping for), the Green Central Power Battery, and even the Yellow(!), for some reason. It was a bit odd that the power source for fear was within proximity of Oa, but hey, looks awesome.

Unfortunately, all those things didn't save the movie from being just plain 'meh'.

Maybe the movie would've worked if the script wasn't complete in the first place and everyone ad-libbed their way through the film.

Or Robert Downey, Jr.

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