Snow White and the Huntsman (2012)

EDIT: I'm so sorry; I don't know why the stupid redaction keeps happening. I don't even use the backgrounds button.

This movie is sadly disappointing.

[And this review is sadly overdue.]

Snow White and the Huntsman starts off serious, but halfway through seems to decide otherwise, and then goes back to its Disney fairytale roots, switching back and forth.

This means pixies, and this huge stag (or was it an alpaca?) somehow 'acknowledging' that Snow White was meant to bring life and prosperity back to the land.

This inconsistency really got to me (I thought I was going to see a dark fantasy version of Snow White), and since it was being touted in all the promos as a Lord of the Rings epic kinda thing, the only thing it has in common with LOTR is that they go to battle in the end.

Despite the interesting notion of the Huntsman playing a more pivotal role in Snow White's destiny, this unfortunately was not elaborated any further than teaching her how to stab someone in the ribs. And also, unexpectedly being the one who kissed her back to life (rather than the 'prince' of the movie, William), but being not in love with Snow (she only reminded him of his dead wife), the kiss on the lips didn't really gel well with me as it didn't seem like something the Huntsman would do.

[At least kiss her on the forehead or something!]

Charlize Theron may look gorgeous as the evil Queen Ravenna (her costumes are fantastic!), but she's basically intoning everything in the same low voice, and when she's not doing that, she's screaming. They'd also included a backstory and a creepy brother, which worked, surprisingly, as it made her more interesting. I honestly don't see why everyone's raving about her performance, though admittedly, she emotes insecurity really well, especially in her scenes with her brother.

For Snow White herself, I tried to be as removed from bias as possible, but I couldn't help not seeing Bella Swan, instead of Kristen Stewart. The fact that the top part of Stewart's face still looks half-stoned didn't help, and the script didn't really make things better either (that battle speech after she woke was awkward). Apart from the Bella Swan stigma (i.e., blank-faced and slightly wide-eyed), I thought she was pretty okay.

And besides, if you wanted to go through the fairytale route, at least make her cough up that damn apple piece when she wakes up.

I have no complaints about Chris Hemsworth; he still has some goodwill leftover from being Thor.

Also, the dwarves are, in a way, redundant. Not from a plot point-of-view, but from casting; I don't see why you would cast normal-sized people, and then CG them into little people. Yes, tiny Ian McShane and tiny Bob Hoskins is adorable (actually, Hoskins is adorable no matter the size), but if Mirror, Mirror can get real little people to play dwarves, so can you.

The reason why I'm being rather harsh with this is because I was expecting dark, not semi-dark. If you're as disappointed as I am with this, do check out Snow White: A Tale of Terror, starring Sigourney Weaver as the Queen. Don't let the title mislead you; it's not too scary, but I find it's a pretty good retelling of the story.

[Better than the above, at any rate.]

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Monsters University!!!

And it's bound to be out in Summer 2013!! Eeeeeeeeee!!!

[That is, if the world hasn't ended by then.]

Enjoy the teaser to the Monsters, Inc.sequel below! Happy weekend, everyone!

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Four stakes and seven garlics ago...

EDIT: I just noticed that half of the post was redacted; apparently background color was set on white for some reason and this escaped me earlier. Apologies.

Forgive the lame attempt at putting a vampiric twist to those famous first words, but Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter just opened yesterday.

Normally I wouldn't toot about something like this (it's not The Avengers), but I just found out that it was directed by Timur Bekmambetov!!

Bekmambetov is mostly known for directing Wanted (James McAvoy and Angelina Jolie), but before that, he directed a not-so-little Russian movie called Day Watch, which I found super-confusing (on account that I can't differentiate between the male actors), but looks absolutely gorgeous in its chaotic little way.

I've been looking for the first movie, Night Watch, ever since, but no luck.

I tend to be a sucker for directors who have visual flair and make movies with sweeping camera shots and huge, glorious (albeit CG) set pieces and the occasional slow-mo action scene, with no sign of storyline anywhere.

Anyway, I hope to score some tickets on opening weekend, and should (I type that with great doubt, though) be able to have a review up shortly after that.

And no, I have not forgotten about Snow White; work has just been in the bloody way.

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"Listen, limey..."

...watch videoLady-Gaga-song parody and enjoy :)



I'm such a nerd for the original Yu-Gi-Oh series.

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Another afternoon well spent!

Four hours, this time.

I'm such a pig :P

Anyway, I have a few things lined up (including that long overdue Snow White review), so do stay tuned and stay posted! :D

Take care now, bye bye then.

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An afternoon well spent...

...is an afternoon well slept.

And sleep I did, for three totally-worth-it hours. 

[Spent at home, rather than out in the hot sun at my office's beach party.]

Never mind that I had a horribly-vivid dream while I was at it, so much so that when my mother told me to drink my barley, upon sleep relapse-and-awaken, I was unsure whether I dreamt that my mom told me drink my barley, or whether she actually did so.

She actually had.

Anyway, my dream involved deals, deal-breakers, some forensic investigating, sacrifices, and of course, a whole load of death. More on that in my next post, I've got to rearrange my thoughts and get everything down properly before I do.

Off-topic, today in church this lady in front of me farted. Not with the singular 'phut', but the 'phu-phu-phu-phut' type. 

Like Jews of old, my mother and I parted like the Red Sea.

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Third time's not so much the charm...

But it was still pretty enjoyable.

I'm referring to The Avengers, what else.

The theatre was three-quarters full. Mind you, the hall wasn't very big, but it was surprising since it was the fourth and final week of the movie's run in the theatres. And beside, only eight to ten tickets were bought up when I went to get mine (which was on the afternoon before).

I just put it down to "people who didn't get to see the movie yet."

After the first 20 minutes, it became very obvious that this wasn't anyone's first time.

For one, people weren't laughing as much as they did on opening weekend. Heck, even during my second watch people laughed louder.

The atmosphere was rather solemn, actually.

And so, partly because of the crowd, but probably mostly due to this being my third time, it wasn't as kick-ass fun as it was the first two times.

But surprisingly, I didn't get bored. It's like, one of those movies that you absolutely love, and know all the lines to, and you know that you won't be seeing it again for a very long while.

[Well, at least until it gets on HBO.]

So even though the energy wasn't really there, I still had fun. Not as much as the first time, but still there, I guess.

And of course, the Jolly Green Giant still proves irresistible in the second act. People still laughed.

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