The Evil Dead (1981)

The Evil Dead is the first of the famous Evil Dead series, ending with the fabulous Army Of Darkness, one of my favourite movies of all time. It's considered by many as a horror cult classic, probably 'cuz of all the gore and disgusting-ness.

To be honest, I only saw three quarters of the movie, having missed the second half of Disc 1 (because it stopped loading mid-way), and, not wanting to refresh the screen and reload the whole damn thing again, I moved on to Disc 2. But anyway, here goes:

*spoilers*

It starts with five college kids going into this cabin in the woods and finding the Book of the Dead. After playing a tape containing a narration regarding aforementioned book, plus a few read-out incantations from said book (on the tape), shit finally happens.

Our hero and sole survivor is Ash, played by Bruce Campbell, who, in this movie, isn't as cool and awesome as he is in Army Of Darkness. His friend, sister, girlfriend, and other female friend get taken out in the end, having been turned into the undead, along with spewing white stuff and that eventual pea soup-porridge combo oozing out from his male friend after Ash burns the Book, thereby killing all the undead. I think there was about 10-15 minutes devoted to all the zombies becoming, well, deader, and like, they started disintegrating(?), but not any less icky (surprisingly), which ended with Ash getting about 10 gallons of blood onto his face (because his friends were kinda exploding. 'Kinda', 'cuz there wasn't a boom.).

Evil Dead ends with the camera zooming through the woods, through the house up till the front, and then attacking a turning-and-screaming Ash as he was walking to his car. Great ending, including the, um, rather inappropriate music accompanying the end credits. Inappropriate, because it was cute. Quite vintage-y, in fact.

Gore-wise, there was a lot. There's this bit when Ash was burying his girlfriend (that he didn't chop up 'cuz he didn't have the heart to), and she climbs out of the as-of-yet unburied grave and claws (hard!) at his leg like it was a scratching post. I was half-expecting to see deep furrows in his calves, but if there were, he'd die and just turn into one of THEM. So, no.

Not watching the second half of Disc 1 meant that I missed out on the infamous 'tree-rape' scene, where one of the girls was suggestively heavily-violated by branches and such. Yes. 'Tree-rape' does not mean 'man molesting poor tree', but instead, 'tree molesting poor girl'.

When I'm feeling a little less lazy, I'll load the show again.

Read More......

Rant.

As per usual, I've chosen the last possible minute to catch up on a LOT of things, including my movie-watching (of which I've barely covered half), emailing the uni about the applying-for-work-permit thingy, panicking because Discovering Music B isn't showing up alongside Introduction To Mathematical Modelling ('cuz of the silly clash) in my timetable area, emailing the people in-charge regarding this, getting nagged on by my mom because she doesn't want me to skip lectures and such, and THIS(!) is not counting the PACKING(!!) that I still have to do.

Also, I have to do my shopping, because I still want that skirt, and that trenchcoat (all subject to price, of course), pencil lead, Finance textbook (still thinking about it, because either way, my bag will still weigh 15kg, all of which I will have to lug UP the stairs to my room), and a whole bunch of other crap that I want, only I can't DO said shopping yet, because my results will be out this Thursday, and since Shopping = Enjoying Self/Splurging, it would lead to many other messes, possibly culminating in extreme disappointment and massive heartache and pissed-offiness (not including an overload on the nagging) come Thursday.

Hence ends rant for Monday.

Read More......

Kung Fu Panda (2008)

Like any other animated feature, Kung Fu Panda certainly has its laughs, and cute animals along the way.

*spoilers*

In a nutshell, it's about this unlikely panda ('unlikely', 'cuz he's a panda) who becomes skilled in kung fu in a very short while to defeat Tai Lung, a snow leopard(?), who's out to acquire the scroll that would make him the Dragon Warrior. Shifu (the aptly-named Kung Fu master) is initially VERY doubtful, but since HIS master Oogway (a tortoise) proclaimed Po (aforementioned panda) to be the Dragon Warrior, Shifu sets out to train Po against all odds.

It was surprising to see gwai los make a movie that's, well, very close to home in terms of Chinese culture. In fact, there was just an article in the papers the other day that questioned how was it that the Chinese weren't the ones that made the movie. But I digress.

I love the ending, though. After defeating Tai Lung, Po rushes up to Shifu, who was beaten down quite a bit during his fight with Tai Lung, and Shifu tells Po that Po has brought peace to the Valley, and also to Shifu himself, since Shifu was Tai Lung's master, and had loved him like a son (Shifu is a red panda. And Po's father is a goose. Hahaha.), before closing his eyes, and seemingly, dies. Po then yells for Shifu to wake up, of which Shifu opens his eyes and hollers back, "I'M NOT DYING, YOU IDIOT–I mean... Dragon Warrior."

Read More......

Random rants.

For some inane reason, I've the tendency to catch colds when the weather's really, really hot. Like in March, when it was still hot (although it'd been raining for those few days), and right now, when it's like, 30–31˚C in the afternoon. My nose has been running and pissing me off for days.

I saw Spider-man 3 again on TV yesterday, and it reminded me how silly the whole thing was. Venom didn't EVEN come out till 30 minutes before the movie ended, and when he did, he DIDN'T even take on Spidey first before teaming up with Sandman. I'd read somewhere that Sam Raimi initially wanted to focus on Sandman as the SOLE villain, and then threw in Venom because of studio pressure ('cuz everyone likes Venom. Including yours truly.). I mean, it was still salvageable if the stupid butler hadn't told Harry that "your father died by his own hand." Honestly, wait until two years past before letting out this IMPORTANT PIECE OF INFORMATION?!!

HowItShouldHaveEnded summed it up perfectly: "I took a grenade to the FACE, DUDE!!"

Then I watched Plots With A View. I love that movie. I don't think I'll ever tire of it. Subtle comedy at its best. And plus, Christopher Walken is always fun to watch.

Now I've to wait till the 19th to watch Perfume: A Story Of A Murderer, because it showed yesterday at 11.40pm, and my mom was nagging at me to go to bed already. I guess I'll watch it online (if I can find it), 'cuz the government closing down torrent sites hosted in Malaysia scared the heebie-jeebies out of me. TV does censorship, sometime.

Oh, and Meet The Spartans was a good laugh. Stupid, but it DID have its moments.

[OMG, what's wrong with my apostrophe-ing?!]

Read More......

Another three movie reviews to make your eyes burn.

I watch three movies (and then some) while flying back on the 30th. Here's what I thought of them:

Vantage Point
Vantage Point's this movie about the US President being assassinated moments after this summit had started. The movie rewinds 23 minutes before the event, and looks at it from the eight people's point of view. Watching the movie, I only got five.
Now, I can take Dennis Quaid single-handedly take down the terrorists and rescuing the President (because he's probably done it before in some other movie). Hell, I can even take Forest Whitaker STOP said terrorists with his magical camcorder. But what I CAN'T stomach is the fact that the leader of said terrorist faction actually SWERVED to avoid a LITTLE GIRL that ran out onto the streets crying for her mommy. I mean, these are TERRORISTS, for Pete's sake!! Running over the little girl shouldn't be a problem, it's called COLLATERAL DAMAGE!
Other than the rather lousy ending, I thought the movie was terrific. A few great twists, and I love how they went back and looked at event from everybody's point of view.

The Other Boleyn Girl
I don't profess to be a fan of political movies, although if they DO come my way, and I've nothing else to watch, then I'll sit through it with no complaint. Having missed the first 15 minutes of the show (even watching through it the second time around), I thought the movie was good. It was interesting to see how Natalie Portman (playing the infamous Anne Boleyn) played off her sister, who bore Henry VIII's male heir, and got Henry VIII to marry Anne instead (hence, the separation from the Roman Catholics, the beheadings etc. The rest is history). Anne must've been kicking herself; all her children with Henry were girls.

Jumper
Jumper was a huge disappointment, for me. Too much talking, not enough Jumping. The only time when it all looked cool was when Hayden Christensen and Jamie Bell were Jumping here and there and all around because Hayden had taken Jamie's remote control thingy, and Jamie wanted it back. Besides looking cool, in my opinion, that bit was rather pointless. Jump with Sam L. Jackson, for crying out loud!

I also watched a little bit of Enchanted and Horton Hears a Who!, but I can't really comment on those because I didn't watch the full things.

Read More......

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) & Iron Man (2008)

['Cuz I'm lazy to double-post.]

Iron Man
I. Love. Iron Man. It wasn't so much of a comedic action movie, rather, a comedy with action. Not that I'm complaining. I haven't laughed so hard since I rewatched Army Of Darkness. Robert Downey Jr. is priceless as Tony Stark, and, quoting American Idol (because I'm lame that way), he made Stark his own. I'll change the last half of that previous sentence once I come up with something good, but honestly, I can't imagine anybody else being Stark. I always had the impression that Tony Stark is this rather stiff dude who looked a bit Chinese. But then again, I'm not very exposed to the Iron Man comics, only in some of the crossovers that he's in. *cough*Marvel Zombies*cough*

And I finally saw that after-credits scene! On this Chinese website. Leave it to the white people at Paramount who can't read Chinese. Teehee. Speaking of which, I can't read Chinese either. Ha! And I'm yellow.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Indy 4 was pretty fun, although it doesn't match Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (in my opinion, nothing will, actually). The aliens were what got to me. The whole franchise revolves around archaeology, and ancient things. Yes, I know they're playing on real-life speculation that the reason the Mayans were way advanced compared to the rest of the other ancient civilizations was not due to innovation and all that crap, but because of extraterrestrials, but really, aliens? And the fact that the UFO in the end was actually LOOKED like a UFO. You can't even call it 'an alien spacecraft'. This from the guy who gave us Star Wars. I mean, just because the movie referenced Roswell in the beginning doesn't mean that ALL alien spacecrafts have to be smoothly metallic and plate-shaped. Russian Cate Blanchett DID mention that they might be cousins. Give us some variety, will ya?

And I've heard that the crystal skulls looked like plastic. Seeing it first-hand now, I thought they were very un-like plastic. Is it me, or did the Crystal Skull look like a reject prop from the Alien movies? During the part the whole bunch of them were looking up at the cave wall, I was half-expecting a face-hugger to jump out and attah itself to John Hurt's face. Which would've been ironic, since John Hurt was the first to die in Alien.

The way Cate Blanchett died wasn't satisfying enough. Her eyes caught on fire and she just disintegrated. I mean, in Raiders of the Lost Ark, the Nazis' faces melted. Nightmares for weeks! And in Temple of Doom, there was that whole heart-ripping she-bang, and something with the stones, and the bad guy fell and was eaten by crocodiles. And in The Last Crusade, the rather middle-aged dude instantly aged and rotted away, and the whole place fell apart (not immediately after, though). And I miss the Nazis.

Oh, another quibble: Henry Jones, Sr. Yes, saying that he died is a great way to cover the fact that the great Sean Connery is not in the movie, but have they forgotten about The Last Crusade? Correct me if I'm wrong here, but didn't Henry Sr. drink from the Holy Grail, i.e. the Cup that gives everlasting life? Yes, the water from the Cup was poured onto his wounds, that's why he didn't die from the gunshot, but he also DRANK from the thing afterward. So tell me, why on earth is he dead in the current movie??

The good stuff now: It was quite funny actually, and the bit LaBeouf threw a rat snake to Harrison Ford so that they could pull him out of the dry sand pit (like quicksand, except no mud, or something) was hilarious. For the uninitiated, Indiana Jones hates snakes. And his father hates rats. Haha. And it was quite fun to watch John Hurt acting senile for most of the movie. But he was alright again after they replaced the skull up on its skeletal, um, yeah, skeleton.

I've actually read somewhere that George Lucas said that he could imagine Shia LaBeouf being the lead in subsequent Indy movies, relegating Harrison Ford to the father-figure role, much like Sean Connery in The Last Crusade. Nothing against LaBeouf, but if that actually happens, I'm boycotting the franchise.

[In unrelated news: Luke Ford might be taking over in the future Mummy movies. Oh no!]

Read More......

[Untitled]

('Cuz, as usual, nothing coming to mind now.)

My Internet connection had stopped working on Tuesday. Yes! Ever so conveniently it did, during study break.

And you know what the worst part was?

EVERYBODY ELSE'S CONNECTIONS WERE WORKING! Only mine and Zhan Fan's wasn't, and that's only two people out of the other six people still in the house! W. T. F?!

For the past week, I've been hogging part of Ying Ying's bandwith, since she's ever so nice to come bang on my door whenever she's not using it, let me go to her room, plug the cable into my laptop, and use her connection to check my mail and stuff.

THANKS SO MUCH YING YING! REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!
*muaks*

So paiseh, taking up people's time, during study week and all... I'm using Hokkien (should be, since it's not Cantonese) because I don't know what those words are in English. And neither does my mom, my aunt, and the quite few people I've asked, mostly 'cuz my memory's the size of an amoeba.

So luckily, the Internet's back on now, since the landlady came and I complained to her about it. Would've complained it to her earlier, but she didn't come on Thursday, and she had a gall bladder operation the Monday before, soo... ya know. It's not polite, social faux pas, yadda yadda yadda...

I've a WHOLE lot of crap to write, but that would have to wait till after the exam, because I've four papers, all of which, FIRST(!) revisions I have yet to complete, and my first paper's on the 20th. Sigh.

Anyway, coming soon to a blog post on here, a double of a doozy (or is it a doozy of a double?):

Rants and Raves:
Iron Man (2008)
and
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

[Mid-summer, 2008]

Read More......